Hooray! The sun was out today! The kids and I decided to take advantage of the above freezing weather this morning and head down the quiet back streets of our beautiful community to the library (1.2 miles, about 5 minutes by bike). I readied my library card, filled water bottles, made sandwiches, and strapped the punkins into the bike trailer. About 3 blocks from home, I heard a series of honks. I thought it was from someone I knew, and looked up gingerly to see if it was one of my biggest fans or something. It wasn't. I took note of where I was: the wheel of the trailer was in the right gutter, there were no other cars around, and there was a generous splay of road for cars to whiz on by me.
A nasty old (not like a little old, I mean oooooold) Mean Granny with fuschia lipstick and bright orange hair rolled down her window and yelled, "That's illegal! You're going to get your kids hit! You can't have kids in that thing! That's illegal!"
I replied: "It's built specifically for kids. If it's illegal, why do they sell them?"
MG: "Why do they sell dope?"
Is this lady for real? I kept my cool. "Uh, dope is illegal to sell. They don't sell dope at Wal-Mart."
MG: "Why do they sell beer and cigarettes?"
Maybe Mean Granny was an alien and this was her first time on this planet. Or maybe she's been in a coma since 1892 and just woke up yesterday. "Beer and cigarettes are legal to sell and use. So is this trailer." And I serenely biked on. I even resisted the urge to yell, "Your face is illegal!" and leave her loose skin in the dust with my amazing bike peel-out skills.
And just in case you're wondering, section 41-6a-1104.2 of the Utah Bicycle Code states: "This section does not prohibit attaching a children's trailer or semitrailer to a bicycle providing the trailer or semitrailer has been designed for attachment."
Take that Mean Granny!
9 comments:
Well done Leah!! Mean people are so hard to ignore - especially when they are wrong. In fact, you think of like 400 billion one liners that would have really showed them once they leave. But at the end of the day, you prove that your character rises above such pettiness and contention.
I love old people. Especially when they are grouchy. They make me happy inside. I can't wait until I can be old and grouchy (instead of just plain grouchy).
Some people (especially older ones I've noticed) really have opinions and aren't afraid to let you in on them. My friend had an old guy interupt her in the store to tell her she shouldn't make mouth noises at her kid when her kid makes noises at her. We thought it was a silly thing to bother someone about.
So, Miranda, does this mean you love me???
One summer day I strapped Ethan into a front carrier and braved the 110-degree weather to walk to the grocery store. While in the grocery store, an old lady jumped out in front of me, gasped, and said to Ethan, "Your widdle feets must be soooo cold! Mommy didn't put your socks on you this morning? Awww..." She scowled at me and again directed her attention to Ethan. "Mommy should put socks on you. I bet you get sick all da time!" I looked at her incredulously as I felt Ethan's hair, which was wet with sweat and sticking to his scalp. Then, I tried my hardest not to laugh out loud, smiled sweetly at the old lady, who apparently had forgotten that we live in one of the hottest places in the country, and walked on.
To add to the old lady stories, one time I was driving and this old lady threw a churro at my car. I made a sudden stop and politely asked, "What the heck was that for ya durn fool?" She then told me that she just had one of those old people spasms and it was an accident. Silly old people!
what a maroon!
I hate when old people tell me how to raise my kids! When I hang Hailey over the bear-pit at the zoo everyone should be happy that I'm letting the bears daydream about eating a soft, pink little girl.
Oh man, I laughed my head off. I tried to explain it to my 4 year old nephew who wanted to know why I was laughing . . . not as funny to a 4 year old. Anyway, I'm picturing her now in my mind's eye and her face is WAY illegal.
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