BECK!

Imagine, if you will, a red braided headband, big glasses, a tight blue shirt with white racing stripes down the arms, and short short red shorts sporting those same racing stripes. Now insert a skinny white dude with tube socks and Pumas, rhythmically punching, jerking, and generally spazzing out to the sweetest sounds to grace the alternative crowd. And there you have the Beck concert we went to on Saturday night. I was laughing and jamming and trying to make out with Dylan the whole time. Those are like the three best things ever, and to be able to do them all at once was pure bliss.

We loved when Beck played a fine arrangement of acoustic songs while his band ate dinner at a table on the side. Once they were finished, they would join in: clanking on plates, tinging the silverware, stomping feet, and making the crystal sing. Yes, it ruled, and we have begun doing that at all of our meals. There was also a song we had never heard: "It's the best day of my life. I'm so happy, I feel like touching a dolphin. Just reach out and pet a porpoise..."

I do, however, have a few suggestions for concert-goers.
A) Do not bring small children to concerts where the decibal levels will be reaching "brain damage" levels. The Wiggles in concert, okay. Barney in concert, also okay. Beck, 50 Cent, Metallica, etc - NOT OKAY.
B) Cover yourselves, and please remain covered for the ENTIRE show.
C) Dancing like an intoxicated stripper on the handrails is acceptable in very few venues - like if that's your job (but leave work at work, right?) and if Nelly is playing. Not at Beck.
D) Please refrain from spilling beer on the floor/chairs/me
E) Stop toking in the arena. If you feel you must be high to enjoy a show, please do it with something in pill form that doesn't make my hair stink.
F) Deodorant, people. DE-odorant.

But, with a few ninja mind clearing exercises, I was able to block out the above atrocities and focus all my mental energy on the beauty that is Beck...